One of the common aspects of Adult ADHD is the lack of self esteem. Many adults with ADHD have endured difficulties in school, labeled as problem kids, told they were not working up to their potential, they were dumb and incapable and after hearing this over and over again they started to believe that what they have been hearing was true.
'Fortunately, there are a variety of techniques that Adults with ADHD can try to improve their self-confidence. The more self-esteem an Adult with ADHD has, the easier it will be to face the challenges of ADHD. Here are some techniques that can help you develop and keep a positive self image
Challenge Your Negative Self- Talk - They probably will not like me. My ideas are not any good. I’m not a good friend. Any of this sound familiar? We sometimes have these automatic tapes running in our ADHD brains that come from what individuals say or from an experience we had as a child. The difficulty is that we do not challenge those thoughts, we just respond to them as if they were facts. However, you can discredit those thoughts and ask yourself. What proof supports this belief? Is this belief always true for me? Am I looking at the whole picture? What would I say if a good friend was thinking this? Taking the time out to really think about these questions can help us stop thinking and believing these thoughts and allowing them to affect our behavior.
Be Outrageously Positive – Think about how many times someone has asked you “how are you are doing”? Instead of complaining “I’m so tired”, “I’m stressed”, try saying “I’m doing great”, or “I feel amazing”. Launching into all your negative complaints can just make you feel worse, however when we focus on the positive things that are going on in our lives, our mood is more optimistic and that can help us increase our confidence.
Remember What You are good at - Everyone is good at something. Maybe you are going at writing or painting or baking. In those moments when you feel like your confidence is slipping, it can help to think about your talents that others don’t.
Cut Yourself Some Slack - Sometimes we are quick to say that we are not good world who is good at everything. Instead of looking at the things that you are not good at, changing your thinking, from I am not good at this, too I am learning, drives up your confidence on whatever you are working on will eventually improve.
Post Sticky Notes - Reading is believing, write some positive reminders to yourself like “I am outgoing and friendly”! “I am great at my job”! “I am intelligent”! Post them where you can see them on a regular basis. Why does this help? Your subconscious does not understand the difference between what you have experienced and what you tell yourself is true. So when you look in the mirror and read “I am fabulous”! How you think and feel about yourself improves.
Talk To Yourself Like A Friend - Have you ever noticed that we can be so much nicer and more supportive to our friends than we are to ourselves? We are our own worst critics, beating ourselves up for the smallest infraction. That doesn’t really do much for your self-esteem. Would you be that critical to a friend? Of course not. So why don’t you give yourself the same break? When you start to think negatively about yourself, tell yourself what you would say to a friend in the same position. Self confidence increases when we place more emphasis on what is right about ourselves than the what is wrong.