Everyone hates to fail, but for a women with ADHD failing can bring on feelings of disappointment, anger, frustration, sadness & regret. If you have a fear of failure that is holding you back, here are some ways to get unstuck and take action.
Recognize that fear is just a feeling – Fear can’t hurt you. It is just an emotion. Fear lets us know of imminent danger. It is just a warning of some fabricated outcome at some distance point in the future. Step outside of your feelings of fear and observe them. View these feelings of fear as a reaction to negative thoughts and beliefs and it is not reality. When you stop identifying with the fear, it dis-empowers the feeling.
Review The Risk That The Fear Spotlights – A little bit of fear isn’t a bad thing. When you are changing a habit, starting a new goal or pursuing a dream, you will want to calculate the risks. See if a friend or someone you know who are successfully doing what you want and do. Learn what they did to accomplish their goals. Find out what challenges and difficulties they had to overcome and also what training and resources they utilized. Don’t jump into any new venture or goal without finding out what it takes, and what the chances of success are.
Take Small, Manageable Steps - Even when you review the risks, you still have to take action steps towards your goals so you will know what you will accept. As a women with ADHD we feel if we start something, we are committed to that chosen path so we don’t get stuck and don’t even begin. Break down each action into small steps and take one action a day or a few weeks. Remember taking small steps are the key to managing fear of failure. As you become more knowledgeable, you will feel more confident & the possibility of success.
Surround Yourself with Positive People – There may be people in your life who try to bring you down. There will be those individuals who will warn you of doom and gloom and who may be jealous by your positive change. If this is the case, seek out positive people who lift you up and inspire you to take action. Find meet-ups, Facebook groups, and conferences where you can engage with these people. Listen to positive, uplifting podcast, TED talks related to your goal, and read inspiring books. Do whatever you can to immerse yourself in positive activities.
Challenge Your Thoughts - I mentioned earlier that fear is just a product of negative thinking. The more you worry & ruminate about the possibilities of failure & the what ifs, the more fear you will feel. If you take the time to review your negative & fearful thoughts you will find out that most of them hold little truth or no truth at all. Don’t allow your thoughts to run rampant without giving them a run for the money. When you examine your thought to dig out the real truth, you will be able to manage and even get rid of your fears. This is a process you may have to repeat again and again, as your thoughts want to control you. But you have the power to control your thoughts so they won’t fuel your fears.