Many women, especially those with ADHD, find it challenging to refuse requests. The reason for this is that society frequently expects women to always prioritize others’ satisfaction. Consequently, we tend to prioritize the needs of others over our own fundamental requirements, which can result in fatigue and dissatisfaction, as we neglect our self-care.
Having ADHD might create a strong urge to seek approval and acceptance from others. This feeling is amplified if you’ve previously faced misunderstanding or criticism for your ADHD traits. Additionally, societal pressures further complicate the ability to refuse requests. The inclination to please everyone can hinder the establishment of essential personal boundaries.
Learning to assert yourself and decline when necessary is incredibly valuable, particularly for women with ADHD. Saying no isn’t about being impolite or confrontational; it’s an essential skill for everyone. However, this can be particularly challenging in tough situations such as with bosses, parents, or friends.
Here are some suggested phrases that can be useful when practicing saying no:
“Thank you for inviting me, but I have a full schedule that day.”
“That sounds great, but I have another commitment already.”
“I’ve overcommitted myself this week, so I need to decline.”
“I appreciate the offer, but that’s not really my area of expertise. Maybe I can help in a different way?”
“I wish I could join, but I already have something else planned. Can you let me know about future events earlier?”
“I’ve decided to prioritize my time differently, so I won’t be able to participate.”
“Due to my ADHD, I need to focus on some important tasks right now.”
“I’m currently focusing on self-care and need to decline extra commitments at the moment.”
These anchor phrases can provide a foundation for politely and assertively declining requests or invitations. Here are some additional phrases that could be helpful:
“I appreciate the offer, but I need to focus on my own priorities at the moment.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m unable to commit to that right now.”
“I wish I could help, but my plate is already quite full.”
“Thank you for thinking of me, but I have to prioritize self-care.”
“I’m honored, but I don’t have the capacity for that right now.”
“I’m learning to prioritize my needs, so I’ll have to say no.”
“I’m working on setting clearer boundaries, so I need to decline.”
“I’m trying to reduce my stress, so I’ll have to pass on this opportunity.”
“I’m practicing saying no more often, so I’ll have to decline this time.”
These phrases can assist in politely declining offers or requests while asserting personal boundaries and priorities. Adapting to this isn’t always easy. It’s important to be kind and patient with yourself, especially with the discomfort these decisions might bring. As women, it’s important to recognize that we don’t always have to prioritize pleasing others, even though that’s often what we’re taught. Saying no isn’t about being unkind; it’s about standing up for our own needs and boundaries.