You came across this blog because you have some questions about how to communicate clearly and cleanly. Right? If you are a women with ADHD, you may feel misunderstood or you’re not being listened to, you may respond in one of two ways. Sometimes you may decide to shut down out of frustration or because you’re not sure what to say. Alternatively, you may “hammer away” and not allow the other person to speak. Obviously, neither of these responses contribute to effective communication, right? In fact, these responses may lead to even further misunderstandings and even hard feelings. If you are prone to either talking too little or too much, you can change that.
How Can Your ADHD Make It Difficult to Communicate
Everyone can have challenges listening when people talk slower than they think. But for a women with ADHD your symptoms may increase your chances of filling the space with your own thoughts. For this reason, which you already be aware of here are some of the challenges
-Blocking out external distractions, such as random noises, conversations, phones ringing, etc.
-Tabling internal distractions, which could include thoughts about what the person is saying or totally unrelated thoughts.
-Managing emotions, like frustration, anger, or excitement.
-Maintaining interest in the content of the conversation.
-Monitoring your actions so you do not speak impulsively.
Some Common Challenges &Soultions
As a women with ADHD there are a few techniques and solutions for each you can do to address some of the common communication problems ADHD can cause.
Talking Too Much Are you the type who likes to hog the conversation especially if you are passionate about the topic. You probably don’t realize you’re doing it — but it can be annoying to others
Solution: Pause Train yourself to pause after you say a couple of sentences to let the person you are talking with have a say as well. Silently repeat what’s said to you to keep your focus on listening rather than talking.
Forgetfulness There are so many times I will start to say something to someone then totally forget what you were going to tell them during an important conversation
Solution: Take notes. Jot what you want to say down ahead of time, so you remember what to say or ask. During the talk, take notes or ask the other person if it’s OK to use your phone to record the conversation.
Interrupting You may do this because you’re afraid of forgetting something important you want to say, but other people may think you’re rude.
Solution: Be aware of how much you do it. Count how many times you interrupt a meeting or in a normal conversation. Set a goal not to do it more than a certain number of times. Other things to try:
-If you feel like you’re overwhelmed during a conversation, breathe in slowly and fully exhale.
-Mentally rehearse not interrupting.
-If you catch yourself interrupting, own up to it. Say, “I’m sorry to interrupt. What were you going to say?”
Finding the Right Words There are times where there are the words, I want to say in my brain but can’t drag them out of your mind’s filing system. Sometimes you may simply choose the wrong word. That can cause misunderstandings.
Solution: Talk later. Take a few deep breaths and try to organize your thoughts. If the right words don’t come to you, get back to the person later. If you’re not sure they understood what you said, ask them to repeat what they heard.
Going Off-Topic You’re talking to your mom and sister about your son’s stellar report card. You notice a snazzy sports car out your front window, and suddenly you’re talking about your dream car. Mom and sis are confused by your sudden shift in topic.
Solution: Use a “secret code.” Ask a close friend or partner to signal you so you’ll know if you stray from the topic of the conversation. This might be something subtle like tapping on your foot.
Zoning Out Have you ever been so distracted and before you know it, you’re not listening. Even if it’s just for a minute, you can miss important information or the point of the conversation. Others may think you’re bored or purposely not listening.
Solution: Make eye contact. This can keep you focused on the discussion and help you read nonverbal communication cues like facial expressions. Try to have conversations in quiet places that are free of distractions.
Long Conversations From personal experience it can be difficult to process long chunks of conversation. For example, long talks over coffee may not be the best setting for you.
Solution: Set yourself up for success. Suggest an activity where conversations happen in shorter chunks. Maybe go shoe shopping or jog together