You want to take advantage of all that new year’s energy, but you don’t want to fall into the same pattern you do every year? That one where you start with the best of intentions only to end up hating yourself come February with yet another failed intention. Great. You can. You don’t have to lose out on one just because you want to increase the other. Here are 2 strategies that can help you capitalize on your motivation without the aftertaste of shame.
Strategy #1: Set a New Year’s theme
Rather than setting a specific goal, try setting a theme for your year. For example, rather than saying, “I’m going to lose weight,” have your theme be “health.” Then think about all the things that could fall under that category: eating more greens, cutting out sugar, limiting your alcohol use, exercising, taking the stairs, making a doctor’s appointment. Any of those things count. So rather than doing one thing every single day- a plan sure to fail a novelty-seeking brain, pick a category for the year and let your brain choose an action that feels the most appealing on any given day.
How to make a New Years Theme Work:
Create a menu: Do the hard work of figuring out ways to stick to your theme ahead of time (while the dream is still exciting and new) and write down all the various- big and small- actions you might take to fit the theme. For example: is your theme health? Great! Making a doctor’s appointment, going for a walk, eating a vegetable, joining a gym, taking your medicine, skipping the butter. Those can all be on your New Year’s Theme menu. Use this menu for those days when you are fresh out of inspiration or when it gets to be 9 pm and you realize- “Shoot, I didn’t do anything for my theme today!”
Define your why: Get clear on the reason you set this theme. Is health your goal? It’s a good one, but its value is pretty vague. Why do you want to get more healthy? Is it, so you are around longer to see your kids grow up? Is it so you have the energy to run around with your grandkids? Is it, so you feel confident at your high school reunion? What exactly does this theme bring to your life? A well-defined why will help propel you when your motivation flags, a whole lot better than a vague one.
Create a prompt: Brains don’t think to do things without a cue. And ADHD brains need a particularly obvious cue to help them remember a task. So put out some obvious and clear cues for your brain to remind you of your theme. Maybe it’s a post-it on your mirror and an alarm on your phone, maybe it’s a bracelet engraved with your theme, or maybe it’s a giant poster board with the name of your theme hung on your closet door. Whatever it is, make it obvious and change it up every so often do your brain doesn’t just pass it over as part of the scenery.
Set a realistic time frame: You probably won’t stick to your theme every single day. But how about once a week? Or every weekday? How often do you want to emphasize this theme? Figure that out in advance and make sure your cues are ready to go to remind you when you need them.
Find a theme-buddy: Accountability is always one of the best ways to get you through motivation lags. Find a partner who wants to try a new year’s theme as well. Set up a regular check-in, maybe it’s a Friday afternoon call, a daily text, or a monthly dinner. But find a regular time that you guys will check in on the progress you’ve made on the goal and set intentions for the future as well.
Strategy #2: Make a DREAMY resolution:
Still, have your heart set on a setting that concrete resolution that you know would make a difference in your life? Feel like a theme just isn’t defined enough- doesn’t quite get you where you need to go? Great. You can make a resolution work for you. I have had numerous clients set goals and stick to them, and you can too. But this year- rather than setting that vague, idealistic goal your brain has its heart set on- try setting a DREAMY goal instead:
Defined: Get specific about your resolution. Want to lose weight? How much? Want to wake up early and exercise? What time? What exercise are you going to do? Specific goals are easier to reach because you end up doing half the work ahead of time by mapping out exactly what they are and how you’re going to get there.
Resilient: You WILL fall off of your resolution. I promise. Your brain doesn’t do consistency well, and so it’s not likely to follow through on your resolution every. single. day. Don’t allow that to deter you, though. Focus on resiliency, not consistency. If you get back on that horse, you will reach your goal a whole lot faster than if you fall off and tell yourself it was stupid even to try to ride in the first place.
Easy: Set an attainable resolution. Take into consideration where you’re starting and what you can expect of yourself in that time frame. Big goals can be motivating, but they can also be overwhelming. So reach for something that is just out of your grasp.
Accountable: Find a way to remain accountable. Find a buddy, tell your partner, post it on social media, or tell your boss. Give people permission to check in with you and give them some language to hold you accountable when you fall off the horse.
Measure your Success: Tracking your progress toward a goal helps your brain by giving it a little dopamine hit. This dopamine hit then makes it more likely that you will do that behavior again (our brains will do anything for dopamine!) So keep a chart or use a calendar- mark down each time you complete your resolution. Try competing with yourself and how long a chain you can create of days you accomplished the goal. Or give yourself a “never miss twice” rule. But no matter what- keep charting.
Yours: Make sure the resolution appeals. Not just the big why- of course, that needs to appeal. But also the daily action. Maybe you don’t like exercising, but you are resolving to do it three times a week this year- ok- how can you make that more appealing? Does joining a group class help? How about watching your favorite show while you slog away on the treadmill? Would doing it while you chat with a friend make it better? If the new task isn’t appealing in some way, I guarantee it won’t be done. So find your in, the thing that draws you to it again and again and you won’t have to worry about finding the motivation.
You can use this new year’s energy to your advantage this year. Find a strategy, do the footwork while you are still excited by the prospect, and set yourself up for success. And no matter what you choose- don’t beat yourself up. Every single one of us falls off the wagon sometimes. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, remember it makes you human and recommit. You can do this.
What’s your new year’s resolution? What strategy are you going to try?
This article is reposted from Skip the Resolutions, Pick a New Year’s Theme
https://chadd.org/adhd-weekly/skip-the-resolutions-pick-a-new-years-theme/