Self-sabotage is the negative self-talk that prevents women with ADHD from believing you can do certain tasks. Self-sabotage can be either conscious or unconscious and it holds you back from doing what you want to do. These limiting core beliefs fuel the fire to procrastinate. If a woman leaves this unchecked it can lead to general anxiety, social anxiety, and depression. That is why it’s so important to counter negativity with encouragement, support and self-love.
Signs of Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage comes in many forms. A woman with ADHD who self-sabotages might be considered their own worst enemy. More generally, though, here are some signs you may relate to:
– Procrastination
– Avoiding responsibilities, even if it’s because you “forget” ‘
– Breaking promises or not following through on commitments
– Lack of preparation
– Misalignment between your desires and actions
– Showing up late to important appointments or meetings
– Giving up when things get more difficult
Strategies To Overcome Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage isn’t an inherent part of a women with ADHD character, nor does it define who you are or erase your strengths and talents; therefore, it is possible to replace self-sabotage with self-advancement. If you start small and gradually add on more methods of self-advancement until your inner critic is no longer preventing, you from success and happiness. Here are six tips to stop self-sabotaging
Increasing Your Self Awareness- Try journaling regularly to document your behaviors and thought patterns and see if you can identify where they are coming from. Pause several times throughout the day to check in with yourself. As you develop insight about yourself, you can become more intentional about where you need to make changes.
Noticing Negative Behaviors, Thoughts and Feelings- As you start to notice negative behaviors, thoughts, and feelings, ask yourself whether these habits are helping you or hurting you. Often, we feel pressured to do something (or avoid doing something) out of fear, so taking a moment to decide if something with hold you back or move you forward can prevent self-sabotage.
Set Goals With an Action Plan – Setting goals helps a woman with ADHD live with intention. Even more powerful, pair meaningful goals with specific actions. Consider your deepest values when setting your goals. What more do you want a sense of meaning and purpose? What makes you feel energized and alive? Then, decide what small steps you can take to move you toward a goal.
Change a Habit – One positive action certainly beats self-defeating action but remember that habits are most effectively changed in small steps. Think in terms of making incremental change. Replace one thought or behavior every day and give yourself time to make that change a habit.
Develop a Gentle, Accepting Attitude Toward Yourself- A women with ADHD inner critic are a primary factor underlying self-sabotage; therefore, replacing automatic, self-critical thoughts with more nurturing ones is a crucial step in stopping self-sabotage. Develop a gentle, accepting attitude toward yourself by acknowledging your emotions and accepting past mistakes as part of the human experience.
Ways To Embrace Your Strengths- Every woman with ADHD has their own character strengths that can help them thrive once identified, acknowledged, and embraced. Reflect on your strengths, identifying not just things you do well but attitudes you hold dear and positive emotions you experience. When do you feel your best? Knowing your strengths and finding ways to use these strengths—at least one every day can help you develop self-love