Welcome back to the Welcome Strengthening Executive Function Skills in Women with ADHD Part 4. Last time we looked at activation and a woman with ADHD the ability to organize, and plan are affected by ADHD, and how those impairments can affect our lives. We also looked at ways we can improve our organization, avoid procrastinating, and get started on the things we don’t want to do. This time we’re looking at Memory—the fourth of our six executive functions.
Working memory is the specific aspect that most of us with ADHD report as problematic. It’s the ability to keep track of and manage information for a brief period, a bit like a mental sticky note. For those of us with ADHD, our sticky note is small and tends to unstick itself pretty quickly. Everyone has occasional issues with memory, but for many women with ADHD it’s a near-constant, daily occurrence and can manifest itself in the following ways:
Going to a food shop and returning home to find you’ve forgotten several key items.
Listening to a set of instructions and forgetting some steps in the middle.
Difficulty following a conversation because you’ve forgotten what was just said.
Getting lost easily, despite just getting directions from someone.
Re-reading something several times because you’re having trouble retaining the information.
Trying to join in a conversation, but by the time the other person has stopped talking, you’ve forgotten what you were going to say.
Forgetting where you just put your keys, wallet, phone…
What Can A Women with ADHD Do About It?
How can YOU develop a great memory when we don’t naturally have one? Thankfully, there are things we can do to help ourselves. Here are several things you can start right away to flex that working memory muscle!
Maintain eye contact. It’s much easier for us to take in information given to us verbally if we maintain eye contact as much as possible when the instructions are being given.
Repeat back in your own words. If someone gives you instructions, summarize back to them what you’ve been asked to do in your own words. That way, you’ll find out immediately if you’ve missed out anything important, or interpreted something incorrectly, before you make the mistake in the actual task.
Get specific. Generalized instructions such as, “Bring everything you need to the meeting” are not very helpful. “Bring your laptop, a notebook, and pen, and this week’s sales report to the meeting” is much easier to understand.
Read everything before starting. As we are often creative types who don’t stick to the rules, we’re prone to going “off-piste” and interpreting the instructions differently from neurotypicals. Important context can be missed if we read only step one and assume we know where the project is going.
Then read it again, one step at a time. Having read everything, it’s tempting to then rush ahead. But it’s easy to miss something important that way. I find it helpful to use a piece of paper to cover up all the steps I’m not currently working on. That way, it’s easy to focus on just one bit at a time.
Checklist your sticking points. If there’s a part of your day where you never seem to have enough time to get everything done, try making a timed checklist for it. Start by listing out all the tasks you need to complete—get a loved one to help you if you think you might be missing something—then time yourself doing each task Write the times next to the tasks on the checklist, then put the checklist into a sensible order (if you haven’t already). Finally, stick it somewhere you will see it when you need it, or add a series of timed reminders to your smartphone to prompt you at the right moment.
Use Collections in your Bullet Journal. This is a great way to remember things you spontaneously think of. For example, if you think of a great gift idea for a loved one, but their birthday is still months away, start a Collection in your Bullet Journal titled, “Gift Ideas”. Write down the person’s name, the gift idea, and where you saw the item. Later, when their birthday is fast approaching, refer to the Collection to see what it was you thought of. Every time you think of a great gift idea for someone, you can record it in the Collection for later reference.
– Use List Trackers. These are a great way of recording and categorizing ideas as you have them, and they help with foresight and hindsight. List trackers can help take that information out of our heads and onto paper.
– A planning list tracker is a list of things in a specific category that you would like to achieve (foresight).
-A recording list tracker is a list of things in a specific category that you have already achieved (hindsight).
List trackers can also be both planning and recording in one. An example of the difference is “books I want to read” (planning/foresight) vs. “books I have read” (recording/hindsight). Combine both by listing “books I want to read” and checking them off when you do. Make your list trackers more fun! Instead of just writing the books you want to read in a list format, draw a bookcase with books on it and add the titles to the spines. When you’ve read them, colour them in!
Bluetooth-trackable tags can be attached to your keys, phone, wallet, and anything else important (or expensive) that you tend to misplace. If (more like when) you lose something, you can use an app to help you find it.
Calendar apps are useful to help you record and plan commitments, events, appointments, and more. Set reminders and alerts that will help you remember the events before they are due to start, bearing in mind that when the alert should be sent will differ depending on what you’re doing—it wouldn’t do much good to set an alarm for five minutes before your dentist appointment if the dentist is a twenty-minute drive away.
Alarms on your phone are great for giving you a little memory jog to keep you on track. I have several alarms set throughout the day for a few minutes before key tasks or events are due to start — mealtime, writing time, housework time, family quiz nighttime — to give me a chance to transition out of whatever I’m doing.
The Pomodoro Technique is another great way to use alarms to trigger your memory. Set a timer for 25 minutes and start work on a task. After 25 minutes, the timer will go off. Put a tick on a sheet of paper. If you have fewer than four ticks, take a short break of 5 minutes. After four ticks, take a longer break of 15-30 minutes, then erase the ticks to start the cycle again. It’s important to use a mechanical timer and a pen and paper, because the physical act of winding the timer confirms your intention to start, the ticking externalises desire to complete the task, and the ringing announces a break. Flow and focus become associated with these physical actions and feedback.
Write everything down. Our brains are pretty good at telling little white lies to us. “I’ll remember that,” they say, “I don’t need to write that down.” Don’t listen to that little voice! Those prompts often make the difference between remembering something or forgetting it entirely. The tasks, notes, and events system in your Bullet Journal is a great way to organize these.
Have a place for everyday things. If you always forget where you put the same things every day, such as your keys, wallet, schoolbooks, or diary, reserve a specific, obvious place for them (by the door works well) and always keep them there
Next Time Join us next time when we take a look at Emotions the fifth Executive Function Learn why we often troubled by feelings of rejection, oversensitivity, frustration and anger?